Starting university is often painted as the most exciting time of your life – new people, independence, and late-night takeaways. But for many students, the reality can be quite different. Whether you’re studying in a new city, missing home, or just struggling to connect, loneliness is more common than you might think – and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
You’re not alone in feeling alone
It might seem like everyone else has settled in perfectly and found their group of friends, but the truth is, a lot of students feel lonely, especially in the first year. Moving away from family, adjusting to academic pressure, and trying to “find your people” can all feel overwhelming. Social media only adds to the pressure, showing highlights of parties and friendships that might not reflect real life.
Practical steps to combat loneliness
- Join societies or clubs
Universities in the UK have societies for just about everything – from football to film, chess to cheese tasting. Joining one isn’t just about the activity; it’s a chance to meet people with similar interests. Don’t worry if you feel nervous turning up alone – many people do, and organisers usually go out of their way to make newbies feel welcome. - Say yes (when you can)
When someone invites you for coffee, a night out, or a group study session – say yes, even if you feel nervous or unsure. You don’t have to commit to everything, but putting yourself out there can open doors to deeper connections. Often, the best friendships start from small, spontaneous interactions. - Create a routine
Loneliness can feel worse when your days lack structure. Creating a simple routine – even just waking up at the same time, going for a walk, or setting aside time for studying and meals – can improve your mental wellbeing and help you feel more grounded. - Talk about it
Whether it’s with a flatmate, people on your course, a tutor or even a counsellor, talking about how you’re feeling can really help. Most universities offer free counselling and mental health support services. There’s no shame in using them – they’re there for a reason. - Limit social media
Try not to compare your experience to what you see online. Remember, people only post the highlights. Taking breaks from apps like Instagram or TikTok can actually make you feel less isolated and more focused on your real-life surroundings.
Looking after your mental health
Loneliness can lead to feelings of anxiety or depression if left unchecked. If things are getting too much, reach out. The NHS, Samaritans (116 123), or your university’s wellbeing services are all there to support you.
University is a massive life change, and it’s completely normal to feel lonely at times. What you’re feeling is valid, and it doesn’t mean you’re failing at uni life. Take things one step at a time, be kind to yourself, and remember – it gets better. You’re not the only one, and you’re certainly not alone.
